Passing on Responsibility

So take the following to be true. Human beings have minds that operate as an alive system that brings up thoughts within people. So in this, imagine a couple of people. A man and a woman. For this example you can also imagine, a man and a man, or a woman and a woman. So these two people have a relationship, like we all have a relationship to someone. The nature of this relationship you can decide. But here is the situation:

Both people have given their responsibilities to their mind. But they believe that their partner, the other person, is taking responsibility for them. In other words, they believe that they are giving responsibility to the other person for helping them, when in reality they gave their responsibility to their individual minds. So you have the minds of the two people, these bring up thoughts within them, about what to do, say etc… And you have the people believing that the other person is taking care of them. The only thing that is missing is that each person is not taking responsibility for their individual self.

In this example, what will happen, would you say?

I want you to gather all of your knowledge and history of every single relationship that has ever existed. This includes fictional relationships in movies, stories, books, as well as real life experiences. This can include your relationships to parents, friends, teachers, coworkers, bosses, everyone. So what happens when you give responsibility for who you are to another person?

So what is your answer? My answer is that you cannot function, that you feel lost/separated, and you lack direction.

Now imagine the same situation, but you are alone. So you have given your responsibility to a part of yourself, the mind. What happens?

My answer is the same thing. That you cannot function, that you feel lost/separated, and you don’t have direction.

Sooooo, now imagine you have both happening at the same time. You have given responsibility to your mind, and you seek someone else to take responsibility for you, and you seek to take responsibility for someone else. So your focus is on taking responsibility for other people. So your ideal partner would be someone that is not taking responsibility for him/herself. This reveals then an important lesson, that the people we hold relations with reveal the kind of person we are.

Do you think that a person in this kind of situation would ever step out of it, and take responsibility for their individual self?

Have you met these kind of people?

Are you one of these people?

Are you someone that passes your responsibility to something or someone else?

Apple Seed

 

Apple SeedIn the backyard there is an apple seed. This seeds sits between a patch of flowers and weeds. Someone was eating an apple, spitting out this seed to the ground.

Today the apple seed is there, and hasn’t sprouted yet. The grasses and other plants were strong and well placed.

One day later, it still hasn’t sprouted yet.

Over the next months, some rains came and went, sun went up then down, and it still hadn’t sprouted. The plants all around have either grown, died, sprouted. Bugs come and go, eating plants, maybe some seeds.

A year past and the seed still hadn’t sprouted. But on a day, indeterminable, it did sprout. On this day you saw its sprout, a little root searching for the ground.

The next day, it moved closer to the dirt. So on and so forth on the next days. Someone was walking by and knocked the seed out of the dirt. When the next rain came, it allowed the seed to reestablish itself in the dirt again.

Then it’s first little leaf came out. Allowing it catch its first glimpse of sunlight. Some days were cloudy, not allowing it grow. Some days were rainy and harsh.

The plants around the seed, competed for its space, and rich nutrients in the dirt. The seed continued, digging deeper with its root, and reaching high for the sky.

In a year’s time it was 3 inches tall. In two years time it doubled in size. Some leaves were ripped by the wind. It regrew them. Some branches broke, it regrew them. It grew, grew, grew. “I am an apple seed, so I am an apple tree.”

Eventually, like all things, it died. Its body, like all things, serve the new, becoming nutrients for other plants. “I am an apple seed, so I am an apple tree.”

 

Creating Choice

Doctor

Brian was sitting in bed. He had graduated with a bachelors degree from Psychology 2 years ago. He was still living with his parents, which he didn’t mind. He had been investigating himself, and expanding his capabilities in ways he wouldn’t and couldn’t imagine before.

About 4 years ago he had a phone conversation with an older woman that he looked up to. Within talking about his future with her, she advised that he become a medical doctor. The thought of that scared Brian to his core, and he isn’t afraid to admit to anyone now, that he cried in that moment, from fear. The stress and duress that going to medical school, and on top of that, not really believing he could keep up with the material, yet this person whom he looked up to, believed he could. He knew that he was afraid of not fulfilling other people’s expectations of him. Everyone always saw him as so smart and capable, and not being able to do something, especially a pursuit of the mind, would have been a blow to his ego.

So Brian was sitting. He realized the moment he was sitting in, came quite naturally to him. Ironically enough, not natural in the natural sense, meaning easy, fluently. No, but as you would expect, which in reality in involved hard work, patience, perseverance, and a challenging of himself to the  very core of his being. From such actions/behaviors you would expect something to result, eh? So it did.

Brian knows that he has an obligation with his new found power. That there is a greater purpose for him to serve by applying that power in the way that fit his environment, and that result in what he knows is something spectacular in the eyes of many, but simply attainable in his own eyes. He knows now that what he achieves, what he has, and how people respond to him, do not define him, or make him more or greater. That is/was his Ego. May it forever rest in peace. He knows though that his Ego may come back from the dead, so he has to be cautious and alert at all times.

In moments without ego, one thing is clear to Brian. Tough choices are no longer tough, they are straightforward. And things actually fall into place, and what is right in front of your nose, reveals itself, like magic. So that’s something Brian learned, and would like to share. Because now pursuing his psychology degree by becoming a doctor, seems like an obvious choice now. And now he understands why some choices seem so tough. Because really its just the emotions and feelings behind them, which for Brian, it had to do with his ego.

Conversations we have and Secrets we keep

 

talking-mouthThis is a story of two people, Melissa and Ari. Melissa woke up today, got dressed  and ready for work. She ate her usual breakfast, and listened to her usual radio station on her way to work. That same morning, Ari woke up. Ari got dressed, took a shower, and left to work singing along to her favorite band on the music player of her car.

It was noon. Ari felt dread, and knots in her stomach. Melissa felt fine, maybe a bit bored, she couldn’t tell. They both headed to the lunch area. They sat down at their tables. Melissa with her group of friends, Ari with one of her coworkers. Melissa came over to Ari’s table after she finished her lunch. Ari could see her approaching, she was looking at Melissa from the corner or her eye, with heightened awareness. Ari’s breathing constricted, which she wasn’t even aware of. She froze for a few seconds in sheer anticipation.

“Hi Ari” Melissa said, “how it’s going today?”

“Alright.”

A moment of silence passed.

“Anything new go on in your work?” Melissa said with care.

“Nope, just the usual” said Ari, “what about you?”

Melissa said how her team is closing on a deal with new client in the area. She felt pretty excited about it.

“Oh” Ari said. Ari felt sick to her stomach, an ache and pain in her bones and muscles, that she wasn’t even aware of. In a moment of anger, she said: “I’m really happy for you Melissa” and thought “what a bitch, why is she making me feel bad. Why can’t you just leave me alone!”

“Thanks Ari, that’s so sweet” Melissa replied.

Ari, and Melissa finished their work day, headed home. Ari collapsed in bed, filled with thought. Melissa was relax, and looked forward to the next day.

“Why can’t I be like Melissa” Ari thought.

…. Night passed…

The next day, at work, during lunch. Ari went over and spoke with Melissa.

“Hey Melissa how is it going?”

“pretty good, how about you?”

“Well I’m fine, anything to new to report?”

“not today no, and how about you, anything new going on?”

“Yes, we actually made a huge sale this morning, the boss is really happy”

“well that’s great Ari! That’s such good news.”

Time slowed down. Ari felt happy, excited and proud of herself. At the same time she felt angry, confused, and jealous. “why is she congratulating me, I don’t need her to tell me how great I am. I am great, I am better than her.”

“Thanks I really appreciate your kind words” replied Ari.

Ari felt the pain again, she felt like collapsing when she got home. I can’t live like this. What will make this stop! Why do whatever I try, does nothing ever seem to be able to stop this emptiness I feel. I feel so angry. I hate my job.

 

~Present Day~

Ari was looking over her memories from three years ago, and wrote down the key points she noticed about who she was in her interactions with her friend Melissa. She noticed that whatever was going on within her, it had nothing to do with how Melissa was treating her, and that Melissa was only ever kind to her, a true friend. In her very thoughts Ari found the truth. Ari wanted to be better than Melissa, and feel like a better person, by bringing down Melissa in her mind, and making herself successful, wealthy, and popular. She knew there was more going on, but she felt that she was already on the path of understanding herself and finally stopping, and letting go of this pain, suffering and emotional torment. The key is in who I am, in these memories, I just have to be honest, and ready to face the truth. I am not a nice person, or good person, I actually think bad/evil things behind people’s back. I know this is wrong, which is why I don’t say it aloud, but it has to stop, I can’t continue like this, I know this much. Why did I ever accept and allow such thoughts? What was I fighting or protecting? There are so many reasons and things here. Righteousness, trying to feel better, becoming more/greater, etc… Wow, there’s so much of me that I wasn’t aware of! Now I can finally release it!

“What makes me a better person”

 

2013-12-Black-Background-8I opened my eyes. It was dark. I didn’t know where I was. It was like infinite void, emptiness, nothingness, darkness in all directions. A man appeared. He looked, odd, unusual, and embodying power. He spoke sweetly to me “so it seems you have another chance, but this is your last one.” I stared at him in silence. I thought are you real, is this a dream? No this isn’t a dream, he replied. Well it must be a dream because how can you hear what I am thinking? He said to me that here, thoughts and spoken words are one, they are not separated. Where is here? I said. “You have a choice to make, so you can say that is here, and this regards your future.”

Ok. This whole situation seemed as real to me as anything. Perhaps this is what dreams and this reality have in common. So what are my choices?

You can have a life with the following.

  1. A woman by your side.
  2. A PHD, with a 6-figure career.
  3. A fully furnished home.
  4. Friends that adore you.
  5. Family members that adore you.
  6. Wealth
  7. Fame

 

Or, you can have the answers/knowledge of who you are, and I will guide you on how to achieve that to the best of my abilities.

What does that even mean? I said. Achieve what? What will you help me with? And do you really mean I receive all of these things, or do I pick just one of the seven?

Yes, you have only 2 choices, a life with the things above, or with this second option about who you are.

How much time do I have to decide? I asked.

Not long, you should choose as quickly as possible. He replied.

A moment passed in silence.

I asked, How did you know I wanted these things?

He only stared at me in silence.

He asked me what my choice is.

Within myself I found something interesting. I was curious, and I wouldn’t call it morality, but I just knew I had to.

“what makes me a better person” I said to myself.

Explain yourself, he said.

I said: That is how I feel with each of these 7 things. I feel better as a person, or believe I a better somehow, as who I am. And that is why you asked me the second question, or option, which is about who I am.

Very good, he said.

I said: and you can’t give me something that I already have, and simply need to give myself, the answer. These things don’t make me a better person, but I accepted and allowed myself to live the lie that they do.

Well, enjoy your life! He said to me.

Thanks, I said.