Day 330: Hidden Anxiety

Carlton's 7 Year Journey to Life

hidden-anxietyFor some time now I have been experiencing this movement, coming up within my solar plexus that I couldn’t describe, wherever a situation would arise, or whenever something would be coming up that I had to take care of and/or do. Now this movement, was sort of a shaky vibration and Harding of my stomach at time, almost like a nervous type feeling but why, because this would be just another normal situation and/or something that I have handled before and it’s now time for me to handle it again, I mean it wouldn’t necessarily be a problematic situation or anything as such, but just another normal thing I had to do, but sure enough, each time these things would come up for me to handle, this subtle shakiness would be there as well, whenever I thought about what I had to do.

After investigating more on what it was…

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Passing on Responsibility

So take the following to be true. Human beings have minds that operate as an alive system that brings up thoughts within people. So in this, imagine a couple of people. A man and a woman. For this example you can also imagine, a man and a man, or a woman and a woman. So these two people have a relationship, like we all have a relationship to someone. The nature of this relationship you can decide. But here is the situation:

Both people have given their responsibilities to their mind. But they believe that their partner, the other person, is taking responsibility for them. In other words, they believe that they are giving responsibility to the other person for helping them, when in reality they gave their responsibility to their individual minds. So you have the minds of the two people, these bring up thoughts within them, about what to do, say etc… And you have the people believing that the other person is taking care of them. The only thing that is missing is that each person is not taking responsibility for their individual self.

In this example, what will happen, would you say?

I want you to gather all of your knowledge and history of every single relationship that has ever existed. This includes fictional relationships in movies, stories, books, as well as real life experiences. This can include your relationships to parents, friends, teachers, coworkers, bosses, everyone. So what happens when you give responsibility for who you are to another person?

So what is your answer? My answer is that you cannot function, that you feel lost/separated, and you lack direction.

Now imagine the same situation, but you are alone. So you have given your responsibility to a part of yourself, the mind. What happens?

My answer is the same thing. That you cannot function, that you feel lost/separated, and you don’t have direction.

Sooooo, now imagine you have both happening at the same time. You have given responsibility to your mind, and you seek someone else to take responsibility for you, and you seek to take responsibility for someone else. So your focus is on taking responsibility for other people. So your ideal partner would be someone that is not taking responsibility for him/herself. This reveals then an important lesson, that the people we hold relations with reveal the kind of person we are.

Do you think that a person in this kind of situation would ever step out of it, and take responsibility for their individual self?

Have you met these kind of people?

Are you one of these people?

Are you someone that passes your responsibility to something or someone else?

Journey through a portal: the beginning

Step into the portal


In a large metropolis, at a time where the moon is out, within a park, there is a green flash.

Existing the flash, is a young woman. She is dressed with olive pants, and a burgundy shirt. A couple strolling through the park, witnessed the event, just meters away.

They looked upon each other. The young woman just smiling and saying hello, my name is Sylvester. The young couple were coincidentally very much into the supernatural, spiritual, and sci-fi genre. They said hello, not smiling, feeling a bit worried.

Sylvester immediately said, I am visiting this world to see if i can be of assistance and support. I come from a place where we have created a quite wonderful world, and I am visiting other worlds through our portal, you must have seen the green flash, no?

Yes we did said the woman with dark brown hair. We were just walking through the park. Did you mean to find us?

You could say so, we were looking for somewhere inconspicuous to be able to meet someone from here and talk to them without drawing too much attention.

Oh, that is interesting, said the man with red hair.

So listen I only have 30 minutes, so why don’t we get started, we can find somewhere comfortable to sit, over there I see some tables with benches. And you can ask whatever questions you want.

Sylvester headed over there, and the couple followed behind her.

Once they sat down, and became comfortable, Gloria said, well my name is Gloria and this is Edger, my husband.

Sylvester just smiled for a moment. And said so what do you want to ask?

So did you somehow pick out our world? How did you know to come here, and why here?

Well, we actually don’t know much of this particular world, but we have visited so many that we tend to see the same patterns over and over again. So you can say we are pretty much prepared for anything at this point. We have been doing this a while.

So tell us about your world said Edgar.

I actually found it helps to know the structure of the visited world in order to help facilitate my explanation of our world, and how we live. So tell me, how do you receive your things, like the clothes you are wearing?

Edgar said, we go to a store and buy them.

With what? Said Sylvester.

Umm, with money, or a credit card, sometimes a check, but that’s just from my back account.

Ohhhh, ok, so your using a money system. But how do you receive that money?

Gloria said, through our jobs, working.

Does everyone receive money through jobs or working?

Um, not if you are a business owner, I suppose, or perhaps an investor.

Does everyone receive the same money for their work?

Nooo? Edgar felt uneasy.

What is it Edgar, asked Sylvester.

You are asking these questions as if that is not how things are or have to be.

Well yes Edgar, things can always be different, it just depends on the structure and foundation upon which a world is built. So I take it that in your world, no one or very few people spent time in establishing and deciding what the structure of your world will be?

What structure, do you mean government? Asked Gloria.

No, the structure for how you receive goods and services, your money system. That is what keeps you alive and well isn’t it?

Yeah, yes, said Gloria and Edgar, having a realization in that moment.

So, where I am from, people work and produce something or give some service and that is given unconditionally to everyone, and so each person can receive in turn all services or goods. It’s based on the principle, as you give you receive. So we don’t have unemployment, obviously, because there is nothing that stops someone from taking on the job or work of her or his choice. From what you were telling me, in your world money is unequal. So only those with money can take on the job/work of their choice. So we have removed that obstacle. Though remove seems too imply that we have to remove money, when really we had to just create and place a structure that allows for the most efficient and effective transfer and production of goods and services. Currently, I take it, in your world, not everyone works, and so not everyone provides a valuable good/service, and also not everyone receives goods and services that they would like to receive?

Edgar said, um well, I know some people that are quite happy,

Sylvester cut him off, I want to consider everyone, here, not just some, but everyone. So think of the whole world, all it’s people, everyone, everywhere. Does everyone receive an effective transfer of the goods and services that they would like, and is everyone actively producing and providing a valuable service, one that they would like to receive?

Edgar and Gloria reflected in their minds. They thought of their city, and their country, thought about their jobs, and how they have complained about their company. They thought about the cheaply made goods, and how they complained about their cars breaking down all the time. They thought about their apartment, and how it is falling apart. They thought about how they complained about the lack of healthy food options, and how they never have time to rest, and go on vacation. They thought about other countries, and how much better off they were than most people in the world. They knew of poverty, but didn’t like to think about it.

So, what are you thinking about, Sylvester said.

That there are a lot of things wrong, and things we wished for, for ourselves but also for others, said Gloria, and Edgar agreed.

Edgar said, its funny, because I just started realizing that, from what you said before, how if there are less people working, meaning if someone is unemployed, that actually means that there is someone that could be providing a service or good, but isn’t. But is there any problem in your world, where there isn’t enough, like things run out?

Sylvester said, so I see that there is a misconception that you have. You seemed to have linked the reduction of unemployment to a running out of things. When it’s the opposite. When more people work, more is produced. The less people work the less is produced. This is commonsense. Just look, if half of your population stopped working, less goods and service would be provided, right? And if all of your population worked, more goods and services would be provided, right? So a reduction in unemployment always means more gets done.

Now here is another question you need to take a look at, that is the quality of living you are receiving from how things work now. What is one obstacle for that right now? I believe that you have already seen it and know what it is.

Gloria, said Money. If we had more money we can pay for a better car, or a better apartment. Or maybe not even have to work.

Right that’s it. So people who don’t have money, even less than you, wouldn’t have much of a choice in what work they can afford to do, or what they can afford to purchase. Now let me ask you another question. What happens in the world, when there are less people that can afford a valuable service or good?

There is less incentive to produce that service or good? Edgar said.

Right, but remember I said valuable, so that means too that less valuable goods and services would be produce, so more cheaply made, for example. SO I bet if you look at your world now, you will see some people with less money, and some people with more money. Now the kind of effect this has on the world is that the goods and services that are produced or given will become a range of lesser and more, instead of simply the best possible service or good. Now what can you see in your reality do you receive something that is the best quality?

Edgar and Gloria thought.

We went to a really fine restaurant last week for our anniversary, said Gloria.

Ok, so then all the other things in your life, your car, clothes, apartment, everything is not of the best quality?

No, said Edgar, your right. We always had to be careful with our money.

So if you look at the point, it is not about being careful, but instead look at how the structure of the world is set up. If you want to receive the best, you are going to need to make sure that everyone else receives the best, and because you can also receive what you give, you are going to need to give your best as well. Makes sense?

yeah, said Gloria, I am just thinking now, of how do we do that?

The simple answer is, you are going to need to restructure the foundation and relationships of your economic system, and your relationship to money. We have assisted worlds in this capacity, though it will challenge your thoughts, your beliefs, your patterns, your habits, your desires, because understand that this kind of change won’t come from wishing about it, you are going to have to create it, through politics, through speaking about it, and creating a plan. There is a whole reeducation process involved within this.

Edgar and Gloria started to feel nervous. This seems to be a lot to do, said Edgar.

Well, look at it this way, Sylvester looked them in the eye. You take it upon yourself, to change how things work in your world forever, by placing a new structure that will change the way you live, and every other human being will live, so this includes everyone. You would have a world that works together, that produces the best of everything it can. If you are not willing to work for such a world, such a paradise, would you say that you deserve it?

No, Edgar thought to himself.

No we wouldn’t Gloria said. Your right, that what you are saying is something I have always wanted and dreamed about. I have complained my whole life, knowing that something is wrong, but I just felt that there wasn’t a way to do fix it. But what you are saying now makes sense.

It is difficult to see things differently, but when you were explaining things back there about how people in your world work, and produce goods and services, that are the best quality, and they simply receive the same of everything in return, that just make sense. Because then I started to think about all the goods and services that we provide that are not the best quality, and so end up creating more problems, and waste even more time, than if we had provided and received the best quality. So we are kind of cheating ourselves, and really running in circles when we do that. Edgar said.

Yeah exactly, Sylvester said, and something else too to consider is that a person is responsible for the good/service that they provide whether in a team or individually, and so they are able to take their time, and make decisions that respect themselves and others, and they can ask for help/support from others around them. You actually find that the slower you go, the faster you go, and the better result you make. Unnecessary mistakes usually are the result of moving too fast, because you believe you have no choice. You typically call that stress, right?

Yeah, I think I know what you mean. Said Edgar.

So I know that this is a lot to take in, but I will visit you guys again, ok? For the mean time, read up on this website, We found that to transition to a new way of living takes steps. And this is a great step to implement.

okay, yes! I am actually excited about this now.


??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????Imagine you are on the ocean, in a ship. You are the navigator. You are going to need to decide where the ship goes. The ship is you, the ocean is you, however you have no map. You have no destination. You don’t know where your destination will be.

You have thoughts, beliefs, desires dreams, and fears. These aspects form your map. You need a map to navigate your life. Do you have a map currently? You can’t sail the ocean without knowing where you are going, without a map. The only way to navigate your life, is to have a map.

How do I create a map? I need to map where I have been. I need to map my thoughts and beliefs. I need to map myself. By only mapping myself out on paper, will I have the map, the knowledge with which I can navigate my life to its destination. There is a final destination, but what that is, I cannot know, but I won’t being able to sail as effectively as I could, if I don’t have a map.

If I have a map to navigate, knowing my faults, and strengths, my secrets, then I can sail well. If I don’t then when a storm hits, I will have a rough ride. I must keep sailing, heading to my destination, and I must continuously form my map. I must do both, keep sailing, and making this map. The map is essential, without it, reaching my destination is unlikely. Having a goal of where I want to be, isn’t enough. I need the way to navigate. And my destination may, change, but having a map of the area, allows me to plot a course. Without a map my ship might as well be dead in the water.

How do I form my map, through keeping a record by writing. Recording myself, personalities, faults, secrets, dangers, weaknesses, strengths. By learning who I am, the real me. These things I act as everyday. The things I am not proud of. The things I fear, and desire. What makes me me? Where do my thoughts come from? The actual moments where personalities of mine were formed.

This map that is me will be my life savior. I will use it to navigate the oceans, and reach my final destination, wherever it may be.

I decide to be… the Best for My-self

“I decide to be… the Best for My-self”

I decide to be the best for myself…

even when I am angry, even when it is their fault

even though I didn’t create the world how it is,

I will be what I need to be, to be the best for me. I choose not to be angry, but what is best. I choose to take responsibility, even when it’s not my fault. I choose to create the world into what it can be, so that it is best for me. I choose to be what is best for me.


I choose to be calm, focused, responsible, caring, and creating the future to be the best for me. I decide to be the best for myself. So the future becomes what who I decide to be. Who I decide to be, is who I will be.

For myself to be, what is best for me, I must be attentive, responsible, effective, strong, dedicated, caring, clear, and focused. For the world to be, what is best for me, this must be done, by me becoming.

So I am becoming what is best to be… all for me!

Imagine everyone doing that!

What a world and future!

To be? Yes become it!

What is best for me.

The Practical Side to Life

Really?Oh My GoD!       What am I going to do?      This is horrible!      This is a disaster!      There isn’t anything I can do!      I’m screwed!!!    Nooooooo!

… OR….

Ok, what do I need to do? How do I overcome this new obstacle? What will I need to do to bring about my goals and desires? What are the steps I need to take?


What do you notice is different about the above ways of responding? When I look at the two ways of responding, I see that the first group is filled with statements, whereas the second group is filled with questions. Secondly, the first group is emotional in substance, compared to the second group that is not emotional, but clear and practical. You can tell that someone acting within the first group of statements won’t be very effective or reliable in getting a job done, and you would surely trust someone who acts within the second group. So the question is… well… the questions leads you to the answer.



door ajar open

Unknown   Surprise    Unexpected   Different   Not meeting expectations    Going against the grain     Innovator    Rebel



Why do you fear me? Because I wasn’t predicted? Expected?

News flash, you don’t know everything. How boring would that be? Everything is known, predictable, fixed, set…

Does your reaction to me, indicate something? Were you really here? Because I was… the thing you didn’t predict, expect… the unknown, yet known in the moment. The exception to the rule.

I go against the grain, I am different than the normal, everyday moment. Yet equally here, real. Why do you react to me? Because… why?

Why do you curse me, hate me, or perhaps praise me? If I save your life, I am a “miracle.” If I ruin your day, I am “bad luck.” Really?

Who’s really the devil/god in this situation? Me or you?

I, the unknown.


Money is a Boulder of Potent Potential

Relevant Story: Boulders of Life Potential

What is Money?

Money is like a boulder resting on top of a hill, it is potential not yet put into ACTION.

The Monkman family at Bubble Rock in Maine's Acadia National Park.Like a boulder rolling down a hill, spending money is an action. If you have money you have the potential to spend it, and actions produces results. Until you take action, money only remains as a potential of Effect. Potential must be exercised. If money is never spent, that is wasted potential. A man that spends money will always have a greater effect on his reality than a man who saves it. At the same time, a man that spends his money on worthless pursuits is wasting his potential. So the question is, are you using your potential (boulder, money) and if so, is it and will it produce valuable results?

You may also consider: What kind of effects is your potential having? Is any of your potential wasted? Are living up to your fullest potential? Where will the boulder roll? Where are you leading that boulder of potential as money?

You can make this process practical for yourself and write out a budget, and rate the value of each item with a number, answering the questions: what are the values I place on things I spend my money on,  what is the actual value of the things I paid for, and how can I maximize the value? One can extend this process to other activities and pursuits which are outside the realm of the budget, such as volunteering, walking in the park, studying, etc… One may find that some of your most enjoyable activities don’t require any money, yet are highly valued by you. One may also find ways to spend your money that produces a greater value for you and everyone, or also some money that is producing very little to no value for you and everyone. After this evaluation of values, one can then shift one’s spending to maximize the value produced for not only you personally, but for you home, friends/family, country, and planet as a whole.







The moment speaks

DoorIf the moment can speak, what would it say?

The moment may say this: I have been watching you and I have seen everything, because everything happens in me, the moment. The greatest of structures and accomplishment, be in buildings, empires, societies, they ALL were created and manifested through me, the moment. The moment is the only space and time where anything can exist or be created. And it is always right here, right now. Think of the greatest thing, person or place in the world. Now think of the worst thing, person, or place in the world. They both were created through the moment. So the same must be in your life. The life you have now was created through me, the moment, and the life you will have, will be created through me the moment, which can only always ever be right now. You are creating your future life right now, did you know that? I am right here, the moment. Utilize me, and you will have your dreams, desires, wishes to be manifest. If you don’t, then what you create will always fail. This is the key to your freedom, be a slave to the moment, live here, tirelessly, ceasely, dedicate yourself to me as the moment, and you will reap all the benefits. I am the only way to creating what you want. All must pass through me, the moment, to reach any future destination. Will you walk through me, and use me, the moment?

Reach me here. Be where I am here. Calm yourselves down. Get out of your busybody thinking. Ground yourself here. Get in touch with your body. Be aware of the physical action you have done in every moment since you were born: Breathe! You breathe in every moment, yet you are not aware of the breathing. When was the last time you remembered breathing, yet how often do you actually breath? Join with me, the moment as breath, let us be one.

Let us create Life together.